Working with Cords


cordsWhen we’re in intimate relationship with people, we develop strong ties to them, regardless of whether we love or hate them. Many refer to these energetic ties as “cords”, though rather than some kind of rope, they’re better pictured as two-way conduits with energy moving back and forth between them—maybe like an umbilical cord.

Most of the time, the cords we have with our loved ones are a good thing, and allow us to send and receive love and warmth, and to be in tune with those we care about. But, when we have cords with co-dependent partners, abusive parents, or a negative friend or boss, these folks can literally “suck” our energy like vampires, or “poison” us with their toxic presence. Even in healthy relationships, a fight or disagreement means that we might end up getting “dumped on” by the excess of our loved one’s emotions, like receiving the run-off from a storm drain. These experiences actually describe an energetic reality I see in people all the time. And when these dysfunctional experiences become too much, we need to cut the cord, literally.

Oftentimes, these cords persist for years, even after we’ve broken up with our ex-partner, or broken off communication with an unhealthy person in our life, even when we really don’t want to be connected to them anymore. We find ourselves thinking about them, getting drawn back into their drama, etc. Doing cord-cutting work helps to free us from those unhealthy connections, so we can recover our hearts and energy, and move on—AND, to keep that negative person from getting their “hooks” into us again.

However, oftentimes, we have cords to those we currently love and want to be in relationship with, it’s just that they might need some maintenance. In these cases, we learn to filter the cords, to allow in the ‘good stuff’ and keep out the bad, which helps us develop and maintain clear and healthy boundaries with everyone in our lives.

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